cinta dalam hati

Mungkin ini memang jalan takdirku
Mengagumi tanpa di cintai
Tak mengapa bagiku asal kau pun bahagia
Dengan hidupmu, dengan hidupmu

Telah lama kupendam perasaan itu
Menunggu hatimu menyambut diriku
Tak mengapa bagiku cintaimu pun adalah
Bahagia untukku, bahagia untukku

Reff:
Ku ingin kau tahu
Diriku di sini menanti dirimu
Meski ku tunggu
Hingga ujung waktuku

Dan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya
Dan izinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja
Tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya
Dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejap saja

bukan orang suci

Mestinya kau mengerti
Saat pertama kali
Kala kau peluk diriku

Jangan pernah biarkan
Diri terhanyut nafsu
Aku bukan orang suci

* Bukalah matamu berpaling dari diriku
Benam(kan) semua mimpi-mimpimu
Jujur pada hati masih banyak cinta menanti
jangan kau harapkan aku

reff: lupakan semua rayu
Jangan kagumi aku
Karna ku tak cinta kamu

Mohon kau tinggalkan aku
Tak usah kau harap lagi
Karna cinta untukmu palsu

tak perlu lagi sesali
Anggap tak pernah terjadi
Saat ku lepas dirimu

Pernahkah kau sadari
aku tak pernah berjanji
Untuk setia padamu

**motif lagu tema aku utk ptg ni? eheh

iklan jawatan kosong

aku penah la terpikir, camne agknye klu aku iklankan aja pencarian partner aku. hehe. adakah aku terlalu desperate smp mau iklan bagai kan? belumla lagi. tp agk2 nye ada x rupa iklan tu camni ye?

DIKEHENDAKI

GIRLFREN/AWEK/PARTNER

Kelayakan

1. mempunyai sekurang2nya diploma daripada IPTA atau ITPS yang diiktiraf oleh Lembaga Akreditasi Negara
2. pengalaman tidak diperlukan tetapi merupakan satu kelebihan
3. mempunyai kenderaan sendiri adalah digalakkan (sbb aku xde kete. bley?)
4. berperwatakan menarik (atau dlm istilah lain : kendu!)
5. berkebolehan berbahasa melayu dan inggeris dgn baik (perlu ke kriteria ni? ahah. harusla. klu dia cakap tamil camne nk berkomunikasi nih?)
6. sanggup bekerja lebih masa (apakah yg dimaksudkan ngn BEKERJA itu? ahaha. aku gelak guling2 nih. LEBIH MASA lak tuh. ahaha)
7. boleh berkerja shift (ini adalah kriteria yg sgt xperlu, unless korg ada lebih dr sorg partner. tp nmpk2 sgt la awl2 dah kantoi kan. ehehe)

Faedah

1. peluang kenaikan pangkat (motif? naik pangkat jd apekah?)
2. tempat tinggal disediakan (jd gf i, leh dpt umah. bley?
3. uniform disediakan (ini la kriteria yg sgt xperlu. motif kau mau gf kau pki uniform? ahaha. lawak sial)
4. gaji yg lumayan (aku byr ngn kasih syg yg xberbelah bahagi. lumayan la tu kan?)


sila hubungi payid di 019-******* untuk temuduga. bawa bersama resume anda. sebarang surat mmengorat tidak akn dilayan

so. ada sape? berminat? ahaha

what hurts the most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

the pathetic payid

what wud u do when u loved sumone bt u cud nvr make her urs. what wud u do when u fall in love with the 'untouchables'. the person dat u cud nvr be with. the wrong ones. will u still pursue ur feelings despite the obstacles before u, or u juz walk away, giving up before u cud even fight, juz becoz u dun wanna jeopardize the things u hv previously?

what wud u do when u fall for ur bestfriend's girlfriend? im sure, isu ni mmg sensitif. sum of us wud rather walk away frm discussing it. sum of us akan terus bersikap judgmental dan terus2an menyalahkan pihak yg ketiga. well, everybody has every right to voice out their opinion. including me...

im not trying to meraih simpati sesiapa. nor trying to be defensive regardless of my wrongdoings. i'm not proud of my actions. bt i certainly has a very strong reason utk setiap tindakan yg aku amibil selama ni. the decisions i made, the steps i took, bukannya aku buat tanpa sebab yg logik. like i said, aku bukan nk mbela diri. im juz trying to gave a better perspective of this story (well, at least frm my point of vew)

i owe my life to my bestfriend. nothing in this world dat i gave or do wud ever repay what she's done to me. aku kenang budi dia smp aku mati. seriously, aku berhutang nyawa dgn dia. dats the reason why aku xpenah berkira walau secebis pertolongn pon ngn dia. including taking care of her 'so called' girlfriend. i know how she felt for her, and i know how the girl felt for my friend as well. at first, everything seems fine. semuanya indah2 dan happy2 belaka

until lately where she has to take care of some of her personal issues. where she has to deal with her baggage that keeps haunting her. and the girlfriend was left abandoned, without love, without attention. and that's when it all started. me being the thoughtful friend has been filling up my bestfriend's shoes. comforting, consoling her. gave her the attention dat she needs. treats her the way she deserves. provide her everything dat she needs frm a partner. all because of me trying to do a small favour for a friend

until the day i realized i got trapped. i nvr planned to fall for her (well, who as kan?). bt sumhow, the feelings developed themselves. maybe im juz so sick and tired watching her being sad and broken hearted. im sick of seeing the way she's treated when i know she dserve much better. and the pain was even more excruciating when i know, i cud gave her a lot better than what she's been getting. not dat im saying dat im a better lover than my friend. well, at least i know, i wud nvr treat my partner like dat

bt when the tme has come, when reality snaps back, i know its time to let go. when everything turns out to be normal again, i'll have to let her go to her rightful owner. after i've mended her heart, she will leave me, to be happy with her partner. and dat's another job well done by payid.

well, nevermind me. i'll mend my own broken heart. i'll be fine. i'll move on, and time will always heal again. nevermind the scars, coz all these while, my tiny little heart was used to be broken, till it got immuned.

bt it gets me thinking, why does this always happen to me. akulah yg akan sentiasa menjadi penghibur kepada mereka yg kecewa. akulah yg akan mbahagiakan mereka, memulihkan semangat mereka. then when the time comes, they'll leave. either to their rightful partner, or to someone else when try are ready to love again. bt never with me. aku ni cuma sandaran je. SHIT!. BLOODY SHIT!

maybe it is fated in my life, dat i cud nvr have a happy ending. i cud be happy for a while, bt juz for a while only. and dat's it. when the time comes, i'll return back to my sad, sorry state until i found another girl who has a wound to be healed. and i'll be there for her again, comforting her, holding her in my arms tightly and tell her dat everything's gonna be fine in the end with a kiss on her forehead.

and dat's my cycle of life..

ruang rindu

Di daun yang ikut mengalir lembut
Terbawa sungai ke ujung mata
Dan aku mulai takut terbawa cinta
Menghirup rindu yang sesakkan dada
Jalanku hampa dan kusentuh dia
Terasa hangat oh didalam hati
Kupegang erat dan kuhalangi waktu
Tak urung jua kulihatnya pergi
Tak pernah kuragu dan slalu kuingat
Kerlingan matamu dan sentuhan hangat
Ku saat itu takut mencari makna
Tumbuhkan rasa yg sesakkan dada


Kau datang dan pergi oh begitu saja
Semua kutrima apa adanya
Mata terpejam dan hati menggumam
Di ruang rindu kita bertemu

let me love u

Baby I just don't get it
Do you enjoy being hurt?
I know you smelled the perfume, the make-up on his shirt
You don't believe his stories
You know that they're all lies
Bad as you are, you stick around and I just don't know why

If I was ya man (baby you)
Never worry bout (what I do)
I'd be coming home (back to you)
Every night, doin' you right
You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs)
Fistful of diamonds (hand full of rings)
Baby you're a star (I just want to show you, you are)

You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you


Listen
Your true beauty's description looks so good that it hurts
You're a dime plus ninety-nine and it's a shame
Don't even know what you're worth
Everywhere you go they stop and stare
Cause you're bad and it shows
From your head to your toes, Out of control, baby you know

If I was ya man (baby you)
Never worry bout (what I do)
I'd be coming home (back to you)
Every night doin' you right
You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs)
Fistful of diamonds (hand full of rings)
Baby you're a star (I just want to show you, you are)


You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Ooh Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me....


You deserve better girl (you know you deserve better)
We should be together girl (baby)
With me and you it's whatever girl, hey!
So can we make this thing ours?


You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you


Let me love you that's all you need baby

dilemma the flirt

waahhh... tajuk perbincangan aku pagi ni kan? gedebass gitu. aku kah the flirt itu? dan di dalam dilema kah ai? huhu.

well, dlm 2,3 bln ni sejak aku ala2 berjaya pulih sepenuhnya dr kekecewaan lalu (ecewah...) i picked up a new habit lak. well, not dat new la kan sbb previously aku pon penah ada hobi ni gak. cuma sejak kebelakangan ni j aku berkecimpung ngn seriusnya menjadi the flirt. apekah flirt itu? kpd sesape yg xbercakap jawa, dlm bahasa kampungnya flirt itu bolehla didefinasikan sbg pggoda la kut. aww... mggodakah ai? ahaha. ntahla. tetiba kamus bahasa jawa bahasa kampung aku gagal mberikan definisi terbaik lak. ada sapa2 leh mbantu? kapal? dian? ehehe...

i love to flirt lately. n i do it with almost everybody. budak ofis, partner org, awek McD, u name it. hehe. kdg2 mmg bkn lite2 nye flirt. well, klu dah almost the whole office knows, adakah itu flirt lite2 kan. hehe. cuma kdg2 it became a bad habit yg susah dibuang, it came juz naturally, without i even plan it. cam aritu masa mengorder di McD, awek yg amik order tu harusla bertanya "anythg else?" setelah aku selesai mengorder kan. tetiba aku ngn sengalnye jwb balik "er... i dunno.u nk mkn apa?" smp budak tu tetiba terkesima smbil tersipu2. bley?

i dun deny, i enjoyed the attention i get sbnanye bila flirt2 ni. bila dilayan, harusla aku bertambah sengal kan sape xsuka, a whole lot of attention, minus the commitment kan. hehe. dah tu leh buat ngn ramai org lak. ngeh2...bt i hv to admit mmg ada downsidenye juga menjadi flirt yg tersohor nih (waahhh... statement aku kan. self proclaim katanya)

bila kita dah rasa yg kita mmg dah jmpa sumone yg perfect itu, and kita mmg berkira2 utk commit ngn dia, tetiba terasa turned off lak bila kita cuba charming2 ngn dia lalu dibalas lak ngn ayat2 sarcastic "sudah la u...ngn semua org pon u ckp camni kan" atau "eley u ni..u sengaja nk test i kan" atau yg paling best "mmg dasar sweet talker u ni kan?". haa.. hamek!

abistu bilanya aku nk dpt giflfren nih? haha...