Wednesday, December 31, 2008

tentang seseorang..

it all started abt 5 mths back, when she suddnly buzzed me thru YM. she ws one of the blog readers. well, actually she juz came accross my blog while searching for sth on the net *God knows la kan apa yg dia search tu. Bt I think at point of time, none of us knew that it is a beginning of an amazing journey

masa memula kenal dia thru cyberspace, I hv to admit that im attracted with the way she speaks her mind. She’s firm with her stand and and frm the way she chats with me, I know she’s damn smart

and bile dah jumpa, damn she ws gorgeous! Ahaha. Not that aku xpenah tgk rupa dia thru the pics she gave me *ala2 org dlu2 brkenalan main pos gambar dgn surat cinta kan. Cuma agknye bila dah bertentangan mata, terus aku terkesima kan. Walaweh. Well, to say that she’s drop dead gorgeous mmgla mcm exaggerating kan. Eheh. Bt there’s sth abt her that’s really attractive and appealing

tapi bile dah kenal depan2, baru la tau kdg2 benda xdela sindah yg kita sangka kan. Eheh. Bila dah berdepan, br la terkeluar true coloursnye yg berwarna warni itu. Baru la tau yg ketegasan pendirian tu disertai dgn degil yg amat sgt. Kepetahan bicara itu disertai juge dgn smgt TBK (tak boleh kalah) everytime we argue. Dan betapala outspokennye dia smp kdg2 statement2 yg keluar dr mulut comel itu bisa mengguris hati, and she doesn’t even gv a damn abt it. and itu xmasuk lg dgn pertukaran mood yg lebih pantas dr kelajuan cahaya smp kdg2 naik semput aku mengejarnye

dalam proses mengenali hati budi tuh, it ws not really an easy journey. She has her own judgement terhadap aku juge, and her attitude yg sumtimes seolah2 sengaja testing my patience and keep pushing me away frm her really drives me crazy. Bt I dunno y, sumhow dspite all the logical reasons she gave me to walk away frm her, hati aku lebih kuat utk accept the challenge and stay. I dunno y bt I really want to go through this roller coaster ride with her

as time goes by, we get to know each other better. Dan aku mula belajar perkara2 baru yg lebih menarik ttg dia. Dia yg selalunye kasar dan keras itu kdgkala manja juge. Dia yg mulutnye kdg2 aku terasa mcm nk insuranskan tuh hatinye sbnanye sgt baik. She’s sweet, and kdgkala sum of her actions and the way she cares abt me menyentuh hati aku juge

and throughout this journey, we shared part of our lives yg we do not share with lots of ppl. Our pasts, our mistakes, our slips, our falls. Somehow, slowly we build trust among each other. Sth yg pd mulanya pd dia sgt sukar sbnanye, since she hardly trusts anyone. Kdg2 aku tertanya2 juge, what did I do to deserve all these frm her? Bt im glad that sumhow I manage utk betulkan beberapa tanggapan dia trhadap aku. I hv to admit la, she is soooo…. Skeptical abt me masa kitorg memula kenal. And that ws one of the things that feels like killing me sumtimes

bt we manage to go through the tough stage And we understand each other much better in time. Yes, we have our differences. we do argue at times *which she’s really good at it. Ehehe. Bt sumhow, dia buat aku rasa selesa everytime we r together. Despite being pendiam and kinda reserved, I enjoyed every conversation we had. I love spending every moment with her, xkisah la time lepak2 bersama ke, borak2 on the phone ke or chatting thru YM. And juz to be around her, tanpa perlu sebarang bicara, atau sentuhan sekalipn, it makes me feels warm inside

I really cherish every single thing I have with her. I really wish aku xkan hilang apa yg aku ada dgn dia skrg. It’s not that much pn, I know. Bt it’s more than enuff for me for the time being. I promised her that no matter what happned between us, she will nvr lose me.
Bt I know, when each of us dah commit ngn our own partner, things wont be the same again, despite how much we really want it to be. Kita cuma mampu merancang kan. So that’s y, I want to make the most of what I hv right now. aku xnk pk ke mana sudahnye rship kitorg ni. Klu boleh, aku xmau ada kesudahan pn sbnanye. Bt whatever it is, im overwhelmed with gratitude that sumhow our path crossed, and we shared a truly amazing journey

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

azam tercapaikah?

lagi lebih kurang 2 minggu, 2008 will end. dan tahun baru pon menjelma. looking back to the journey i went through this whole year, i must say that 2008 has been a good year for me. i am thankful for this journey and if i can repeat this whole year again, i wont do anythg different anyways. although there has been a few ups and downs, bt i am proud to say that i have no regrets. klu mau regret pon, apa la gunanya kan. barang yg lepas xpayahla dikenang2

bila aku tgk balik post aku yg dolu2 dlm blog me, i came accross this one post that caught my attention. the post where i list down my wish list. eheh. cam kelakar pon ada. ok, lets recap and let's see dah berapa wishlist aku yg telah berjaya diaccomplish

1. to get a decent job - alhamdulillah. dah hampir setahun pon aku keje di sini. yeah, bukan la keje yg gempak pon, bt it is a decent job where i can earn an honest living. and to remain for this long in this position is somewhat an achievement juge. although i hv to admit, aku xdela plan utk kekal selamanya kat sini. i hv my goals and dreams juge. bt for the time being. what i hv right now cukup la dlu

2. to buy a car - well. nmpknye smp skang aku masih lagi menggunakan public transport utk bergerak. mungkin masih belum rezeki aku lagi. xpe, aku masih lagi xberputus asa. lagipon, sempatla utk kereta2 lain yg lebih best nk keluar kan *harapnye la. ehehe

3. mau pki handphone baru - aku tidakla mengharapkan sgt pon sbnanye. tidakla merancang pon. tp mungkin dah tertulis jodoh aku dgn handphone lama aku xpanjang. kebetulan mak aku beli handphone yg dia xpandai nk pakai *bley?. makanya dia telah mengarahkan aku utk menyerahkan handphone lamaku yg usang namun sgt user friendly itu dan menggunakan handphone yg kunun2nye canggih sgt itu *read : xdela canggih sgt pon

4. to go out on a date with cheryl samad - ahahahahahahahaa. two words for me . DREAM ON!

5. to get a new partner - i hv to admit, smp skang pon aku masey single lagi, although status availability tu mcm samar2 je. ahaha. bt i am making some progress la juge kan. cuma luck is still not on my side. well, there's 15 days more to go. who knows i might get lucky dlm masa terdekat ni kan? ahaha

bt overall, i am thankful that my life this year is so much better compared to last year. mungkin accomplishment aku not that much la kan, bt at least i know aku lebih bahagia thn ni. alhamdulillah . bukankah kita pon selalu berdoa semoga hari ini lebih baik dr semalam, dan hari esok lebih baik dr hari ini

utk 2009 resolution, aku masih belum mau pk lagi. bagila aku menghabiskan sisa2 2008 ni dlu. ehehe

Friday, December 12, 2008

this is the post for the broken hearts

aku mau tanya korg, bestkah dikecewakan cinta? mmg xbest kan. tp aku xtau la apa yg lebih xbest. dikecewakan cinta, atau mbaca blog org yg dikecewakan cinta. wahahahahah

soryla babes for laughing. bt really, i personally tidak gemar mbaca luahan rasa org2 yg dikecewakan cinta. mungkin bg org yg sama2 dikecewakan cinta boleh la relate ngn blog2 camni. tp bg org lain, esp yg sedang asyik mahsyuk bercinta, i dun think they would read this blog religeously. unless she's a gd friend of that person la kan. atau org2 itu mmg sgt la xde keje dan sgt kepochi mau mengikuti kisah kepatahn hati org itu.

well, bukan la aku xpenah dikecewakan cinta. and it did not happned only once ok. aku juge tau perasaannye sgt xbest skali.tell me abt it. rasa mcm dunia dah berakhir, rasa xde guna idup, semua pon ada la kan. bt im proud to say that im over that phase now. it ws not an easy journey bt i manage to get through it

C'monla ppl. kau rasa berbaloikah all the sufferings? okla, aku tau korg sgt menyayanginye sepenuh hati. cinta korg terlalu hebat dan agung smp korg rasa xmau idup lagi klu xdpt mencintainye tp secara logiknye, klu kau claim cinta kau terlalu agung, adakah berbaloi utk di sia2 kan pd org yg xlayak menerimanya?

the thing abt org2 yg kecewa dan xdpt menerima hakikat yg dia dah ditinggalkan ini is dia masih lagi cuba menarik sisa2 attention yg mungkin ada dr sang ex. masih cuba menagih perhatian atau mungkin juge simpati, dgn harapan sang ex akan terima dia balik. sgt la pathetic bila dikenangkan, bt that is the only logical explaination to their absurd behavior.sehinga ada yg sanggup membunuh diri

bt the thing that made me sick to my stomach is knowing that org2 yg kononnye mau bunuh diri kerana cinta ni sbnanye dun even hv the guts pon to kill themselves. they actually dun hv the guts to pull the trigger, or to slit their wrist or to drink that bleach. acah2 saje, mau tgk sejauh mana the ex still care abt them. dgn harapan bila exnye tau dia mau bunuh diri, exnye xkan smp ati meninggalkannye pabila melihatkan betapa agung cintanya terhadap sang ex sehingga sanggup mati kiranya xdpt mencintainye lagi. well, i hv 2 words for these ppl. BULLSHIT!. eh, that's one word je kan. ahaha. bt even if they hv the guts to end their lives pon, that doesnt make them any smarter pon. they are just as stupid anyways. eheh

ada juge antara mereka ni yg xdela smp snggup mbunuh diri, tp still crave for the attention la. again, by playing the sympathy card. sakit pon mau ngadu, ada prob mau ngadu. as if mau bgtau yg i cant survive this world without u. ada yg lebih saiko tu, siap cuba portray yg hidup dia mmg dah musnah hancur dah, dan semuanya disebabkan sang ex tidak mencintainye lagi. hek eley.. get a life man!

to me, y waste all the energy? yes, kau berhak utk bersedih. tp smp bila? dun u think u deserve to be happy as well? klu dah jodoh kau bukan ngn dia, then u deserve to be happy with sumone else. kenapa harus menutup pintu hati kpd cinta2 yg lain? klu kau claim cinta kau terhadapnye begitu agung dan suci sehingga kau xboley mencintai org lain lagi, well that's bullshit. mana de cinta sejati dah dlm dunia skang ni. romeo dan juliet, qaisy dan laila, shah jahan dan mumtaz. semua tu dah mati. skang ni kalau ditinggalkan cinta, cari je cinta lain. xde guna kau bersedih mengenang kisah lalu padahal sang ex sibuk berhappy2 dgn org baru

so ppl. stop singing those jiwang2 patah hati song. and stop writing abt kepatahan hati kau di dlm blog kau dgn harapan ex kau akn baca. for all u know, dia terlalu sibuk ngn org baru, dia xbaca pon sbnanye. kitorg yg xde kaitan ni je yg mbaca. and yes, we sympathize ur loss bt we had enuff with ur whinings like everythng in this world is not going ur way. get a life, pull urself back together dan ayuhla mempersiapkan diri mengorat potential awek yg baru. ehehe

Friday, December 05, 2008

the game

when i play a game, i play to win. aku tidak bermain sekadar untuk bersuka2. i play with all my heart and effort to win. when i play to win, aku hanya akan bermain if i know i stand a chance to win the game. klu aku rasa awl2 lagi aku akn kalah, i wont even play it at the very beginning, sbb aku xmau menghadapi kekalahan yg memalukan. aku xkan mberi alasan yg aku bermain sekadar menimba pengalaman. klu mau menimba pengalamn saje, itu practice namanya. bukan la kau bermain dlm game yg sebenar. in a practice, u r allowed to make mistakes, so that u'll learn frm it. in a game, there's no room for mistakes. when u r willing to play with ur blood, sweat and tears, u wont allow urself to make any mistakes

dan aku juge xkan bermain dlm game yg confirm aku akn menang. mmg la best bile mendapat kemenangan mudah. bt what's the point pon. it wont test ur ur skill or ability. membazir tenaga saje. even michael ballack pon xmain masa lawan malaysian team dlu. and semana mudahnye kemenangan itu diperolehi, semakin xberharga la kemenangan tu sndiri. kau ingt chelsea menang ngn malaysian team tu ada harga kat derang? lainla klu menang ngn arsenal ke, MU ke kan.

maybe org akn memberi pandangan yg sinis ngn aku bila aku menyamakan the quest untuk memenangi hati ni as a game to me. as if semua ni satu permainan je utk aku. seolah2 mengukuhkan dakwaan yg aku mmg player. eheh. bt like i said. i play to win, bukan utk bersuka2. i long for this win more than anything else. i dedicate my everything to win this game. and to me, at the end of the day hadiahnye bukanla sekadar trophy partner to be paraded ke sana dan ke sini. the prize is more than any trophy or medal. it is something that you would gv anythg in this world to have it. something that u wanted more than anythg else, dan ianya adalah hati

bt there are times yg kdg2 aku terasa seolah mahu mengalah dlm game ni. bila my contenders seakan having the upper hand to win. bila kelihatan seolah2 mereka mempunyai kelebihan, mungkin dr segi skill, atau peluang, atau apa sahaja yg memungkinkan chances mereka utk menang itu lebih tggi dr aku. and it kills me sumtimes when i know i gave everything i have, yet it seems like im not even close to smll the victory. bt im not a loser. i wont quit until the end of the game. selagi wisel penamat belum berbunyi, i will continue to play, dgn segala sisa tenaga yg ada. and i wont take my eyes of the winning prize until the end

so when exactly this game ends? when there's a clear winner announced, maka berakhirla game ini. if i win, then it will be the sweetest victory. and God knows how much i want to win this game. bt if i lose, aku tau aku kalah dgn cara yg terhormat. it would be an honour for me to play with the best contender. and i will still hold my head up high and accept the lose like a true sportsman

gd luck for me