Friday, January 30, 2009

apologies

i am nvr gd in apologizing. that is one of my weaknesses. bukan bermaksud aku xboleh merendahkan ego utk meminta maaf. aku xde masalah utk semua itu. cumanya aku xtau bagaimana utk meminta maaf dgn berkesan. meminta maaf sehingga org itu dpt memaafkan aku semula

aku xkan berdiri di luar tingkap biliknya sepanjang mlm menunggu dia memaafkan aku. sbb aku xtau rumahnya di mana. tp klu aku tau pon, aku tetap xkan buat rasanya

aku xkan bg flowers and teddies utk meminta maaf juga. dia xsuka bunga. aku takut aku akan lebih menyemarakkan amarahnya

aku xkan melutut di hadapannya, merayu agar dia memaafkan aku. im saving it for some bigger mistakes i might do in future. eventhough hukuman ini seakan tidak menampakkan yg aku ada future dgn dia

aku xtau lg mcmne nk meminta supaya dia memaafkan aku. i know, things wont get any better by juz saying sorry. tp setakat itu sahaja akal aku mampu berfikir cara utk meminta maaf. aku tau, kapasiti akal aku sgt kecil dlm hal ini. tp bila maaf itu diucap berulangkali, terasa semacam xde harga pula. dan kedengaran sgguh annoying pule

aku teringt kata2 my ex dlu. "stop apologizing. fix it!" damn! i wish i know how. i wish she would knew how sorry i am for what i did. i know for whatever reason pon, aku xde excuse utk berkelakuan camtu. i wish she wud knew that hurting her and triggering her anger is the last thing that i'd wanna do

i understand that she's mad at me. if this is my punishment, if this is what it takes for her to forgive me, then i accept it. eventhough im feeling the pain now.

damn. im missing her already

5 comments:

dian said...

duh erin just love to do that when she makes a mistake. apologise. apologise. nothing but apologise.

memang menyebalkan nok!!

payid said...

then klu menyebal, apa yg aku perlu buat supaya xsebal noq?
kebuntuan suda aku nih

chikpud's said...

yep!

sebal yg sampai aku harus ckp"boley tak jgn asik mintak maaf?"

dian said...

betul la kata ex kau tu, rather than keep apologising, fix things up.

if possible, dont do the same mistake again, its just too absurd

dan sebal

Nurul said...

Kenapakah??