Monday, January 12, 2009

losing my grip 2nd part

another boring topic abt my job.hm... dah la monday kan, cite psl keje lg. rosak mood je kan. eheh. nasibla. kau xmau baca, pegila baca blog org lain di sana

i went for a meeting with my bos besar last friday. memula agk terkejut juge bila dipanggil masuk meeting sbb normally hanya senior2 sahaja yg akn attend. tetiba aku yg junior dan muda setahun jagung ini diarahkan masuk meeting juge.

setelah beberapa topik yg boring (tau la kan, nama pon meeting)maka tetiba my TL tetiba memukadimahkan tujuan aku dipanggil meeting itu. barula aku tau yg derang mahu membincangkan the permanent positions for the contract staffs

and to my surprise (and horror) bos besar telah mengeluarkan statement yg trus membunuh motivasi kerja aku. ALL PERMANENT POSITIONS WILL BE FREEZED UNTIL 2010! bley? dan langsung aku termengamuk di situ. u see, aku udah hampir setahun di sini, and masa memula masuk dlu, janji2 manis mereka dlm 6 bln je aku bleh permanent klu prestasi aku bagus (i think i used to cerita psl benda ni in my previous post kan). then lepas 6 bln, my TL ckp mau monitor aku selama setahun, which is fine lg walaupon aku sedikit bengkek. tapi bila bos besar ng statement camtu, terus mak meroyan dlm bilik meeting itu ok. xpeduli suda boss besar ke, TL ke, seniors ke. langsung mak hamburkan kekechewaan mak selama ini *masukkan mode sedih di sini

aku ada sebab utk meroyan sedemikian rupa okeh. bila mereka meminta utk achieve KPI pada bulan utama, aku achieve lebih dpd apa yg semua org expect, even way much better than the existing perm staff *pls note that aku bukan nk berlagak. juz trying to gv u guys a better picture of the whole situation okeh. dan syarat utk diabsorb ke perm position, one has to achieve 3 consequetive mths punye KPI. and instead of 3 mths, i gave them 11 mths consequetively. and the sedih part is, walaupon workload kitorg sama dgn the perms dan klu usaha kau menjulang tinggi lebih lg dr perm staffs ini, tetiap bulan gaji kau tetap la sama. seriously, we benefit nothing out of it. di masa perm staffs sibuk mencongak bonus dan increment mereka, kami hanya menganga, dan terus bekerja berhempas pulas padahal ada certain perm staff ni dun even bother pon to maintain the group KPI

adn finally,i lost my cool last friday. bukan la aku tantrum smp hempas2 benda ke apa. bt i admit tonasi suara aku agk tinggi masa tuh. dan jika diambil kira, sebagai org kecil dan ahli termuda dlm team aku, tindakan aku masa tu sudah dikira agk melampau. tp mungkin itu la yg berlaku bila kemarahan yg dipendam selama setahun dihambur skaligus. selama ni aku hanya diam je. disuruh stayback, aku diam. disuruh backup keja2 senior, aku diam juge. disuruh keje on weekends padahal aku xleh claim pon aku diam juge. sehingga workstation aku "dirampas" sbb senior aku nk duduk situ dan aku dicampak ke tempat yg sgt xstrategik pon aku diam juge. tp jumaat tu, aku dah xmampu utk diam lg

dahla aku sememangnye dah xde motivasi nk keje lagi. selain dpd awek2 kendu dan kengkawan yg ada serta TL yg considerate, i hv nothing else to look forward to everyday. come to think abt it, motivation mmg boleh dicari di mana2, bt i know nothing can motivate me anymore unless aku dapat perm position itu. *sigh

bukan aku xsyg company nih. tp mcm dlm rship la kan, bila pengorbanan kau semacam xdihargai, kau terasa frustrasi yg teramat sgt. kau terasa yg kau sekadar diperguna dan u started to feel like the rship is not working anymore. and like any other painful break ups, this one is not going to be easy either. bt i think i hv to start to think abt my future and myself now. eventhough it's hard and i know sumhow if i leave, i bet the whole team might goyang juge since they wont be replacing any staff yg berenti as well

xpela. kita tgk la camne ye.

3 comments:

straycatmanja said...

Bunyi mcm negative reinforcement aje. Mesti da bos-bos kata, this is employers' market... untuk menakut2-kan staf2 yang berani bertanya, kenapa selepas i bagi semua yang u nak, u cannot give me even secebis yang u janjikan...

pamina said...

it's a big world out there. fortune favours the brave.

good luck. anyway, it's the same everywhere...if i could get away murdering my boss, having said that.

jebonx said...

sabar dik. rite now, lucky to have a job. (ye ke.. hmm).